By His Grace I Can.

I recently have been thinking about God's love.  Why is it that we can't always feel it?  Why do we feel so lost and trapped in darkness at times? I want to share an entry that I wrote five years ago on our family blog.  (I've left out names for the privacy of my family.) MONDAY, JANUARY 27, 20 14 He loves even me. "Wow January has been a rough month.  Let's see what has been going on... Got back from Utah a few days before the New Year, both boys were sick (coughs, congestion, fevers, snotty noses).  At least one of us has been sick since October.  Four months of passing around bugs is no fun.   Then there was the "Snowmageddon" here in St. Louis where we got a giant snowstorm and were "snowed in" for a few days, combined with sub zero temperatures.  Between sickies and FRIGID weather there has been little of venturing out and much staying in.   It wouldn't be so bad but it feels like our apartment is slowly closing in on us. 

This morning I was kneeling on the tile floor in our laundry room, fishing to the side of our dryer to pull out all of the random items that had fallen there over the last several months.  My 3 year old daughter came in clutching a necklace and apologizing sweetly for having broken it, I wish I could say I handled it calmly. I wish I could write that I sweetly forgave her. but the reality is I was so upset. Although she loves to borrow my necklaces, realistically she has rarely broken any of them.  But I think it's the fact that her older brother, my gem loving son, has often been the culprit, taking my jewelry without asking then either losing or breaking it. All of the past frustration flooded into the moment.  I grabbed the necklace and with frustration told her I was upset that something else of mine was now broken. My daughter ran off to her room in tears.  And I walked down the hall to mention the broken chain to my husband, "I don't want to just say,