This morning I was kneeling on the tile floor in our laundry room, fishing to the side of our dryer to pull out all of the random items that had fallen there over the last several months. My 3 year old daughter came in clutching a necklace and apologizing sweetly for having broken it,
I wish I could say I handled it calmly.
I wish I could write that I sweetly forgave her.
but the reality is I was so upset.
Although she loves to borrow my necklaces, realistically she has rarely broken any of them. But I think it's the fact that her older brother, my gem loving son, has often been the culprit, taking my jewelry without asking then either losing or breaking it.
All of the past frustration flooded into the moment. I grabbed the necklace and with frustration told her I was upset that something else of mine was now broken.
My daughter ran off to her room in tears. And I walked down the hall to mention the broken chain to my husband,
"I don't want to just say, 'it's ok.' Every time I do I feel like it's permission to take and break something else."
My Dad happened to call a few minutes later and now it was my turn to melt in to tears as I explained the frustration that sometimes the kids break things I can't repair or replace. As I was on the phone, in the background I could hear my daughter still crying. I let my husband finish up the conversation and walked down the hall to her room. The thought came that my daughter is truly something I couldn't replace and how often do I unintentionally break her little heart?
When she heard me open the door she scurried behind her bed to hide. I scooped her up, held her in my lap and we talked through it. I mentioned why it was so frustrating to me, and she opened up about all the reasons she was crying.
I thought of the multitude of times she had forgiven a teasing or hurtful older sibling and the times she'd so quickly let things go when I had gotten upset. I squeezed her a little tighter and whispered that I forgave her.
I still am trying to figure out how to best handle these situations since my kids really do need to learn to not just take, and to be careful not to break. But I'm glad that my heart was softened so that we could both express how we felt instead of sweeping the offense under the rug.
After all, how often do I act in hurtful, damaging ways over, and over, and OVER again?? We all need Christ's grace and mercy and love to try again.
I wish I could say I handled it calmly.
I wish I could write that I sweetly forgave her.
but the reality is I was so upset.
Although she loves to borrow my necklaces, realistically she has rarely broken any of them. But I think it's the fact that her older brother, my gem loving son, has often been the culprit, taking my jewelry without asking then either losing or breaking it.
All of the past frustration flooded into the moment. I grabbed the necklace and with frustration told her I was upset that something else of mine was now broken.
My daughter ran off to her room in tears. And I walked down the hall to mention the broken chain to my husband,
"I don't want to just say, 'it's ok.' Every time I do I feel like it's permission to take and break something else."
My Dad happened to call a few minutes later and now it was my turn to melt in to tears as I explained the frustration that sometimes the kids break things I can't repair or replace. As I was on the phone, in the background I could hear my daughter still crying. I let my husband finish up the conversation and walked down the hall to her room. The thought came that my daughter is truly something I couldn't replace and how often do I unintentionally break her little heart?
When she heard me open the door she scurried behind her bed to hide. I scooped her up, held her in my lap and we talked through it. I mentioned why it was so frustrating to me, and she opened up about all the reasons she was crying.
I thought of the multitude of times she had forgiven a teasing or hurtful older sibling and the times she'd so quickly let things go when I had gotten upset. I squeezed her a little tighter and whispered that I forgave her.
I still am trying to figure out how to best handle these situations since my kids really do need to learn to not just take, and to be careful not to break. But I'm glad that my heart was softened so that we could both express how we felt instead of sweeping the offense under the rug.
After all, how often do I act in hurtful, damaging ways over, and over, and OVER again?? We all need Christ's grace and mercy and love to try again.
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