By His Grace I Can.

This morning I was kneeling on the tile floor in our laundry room, fishing to the side of our dryer to pull out all of the random items that had fallen there over the last several months.  My 3 year old daughter came in clutching a necklace and apologizing sweetly for having broken it, I wish I could say I handled it calmly. I wish I could write that I sweetly forgave her. but the reality is I was so upset. Although she loves to borrow my necklaces, realistically she has rarely broken any of them.  But I think it's the fact that her older brother, my gem loving son, has often been the culprit, taking my jewelry without asking then either losing or breaking it. All of the past frustration flooded into the moment.  I grabbed the necklace and with frustration told her I was upset that something else of mine was now broken. My daughter ran off to her room in tears.  And I walked down the hall to mention the broken chain to my husband, "I don't want to just sa...

Several hours after I gave birth to our most recent child, I was finally getting out of the hospital bed to get cleaned up.  It had been a rather traumatic birth and I had needed that time to hold my new son and let my body rest. I lifted off the hospital blanket and slowly eased my way to the edge of the bed.  I felt like a deflated balloon with no strength, stiff and sore, my tummy covered with stretch marks, both old and new.  The very first thoughts that came were of shame, weakness and ugliness. BUT I quickly countered them with my own-- how proud I was of my body, nine long months of discomfort and pain, all that it had endured to bring this baby in to the world.  What a miracle and blessing. Yesterday morning while sitting in bed nursing my baby, I caught a glimpse of myself from across the room in our bedroom mirror.  My messy bun had reached a new level of messiness, my two-day old mascara was amplifying the bags under my eyes and my shirt h...

In the last decade or so I have come to realize that creativity is one of my God-given gifts or as my therapist would say, timeless traits. I often feel inspired with visions for projects and guided along the way as I bring the idea to life. After our son was born, with the Christmas season coming, I envisioned putting together some sort of photo nativity representation of our family.  I collect Nativity scenes and thought this would be a sweet souvenir to display each year. I decided that I'd take individual photos so that so that it wouldn't be a stressful event with trying to get all of us ready and in the picture at the same time.  And in order for each person to have a moment to imagine them self at the manger on that miraculous night.  Our youngest daughter (3 going on 4 yrs old) has a golden color of hair and I knew she'd be perfect as the angel. I excitedly helped her get on her golden dress, curled her hair and put on some sparkly makeup (she LOVES to dre...

Father's Day in Paris, France. Earlier in the year an opportunity arose for my husband to teach a 4 week college course in Austria this Summer. I know it probably sounds crazy, but when my husband first suggested that we take our whole family to Europe, I didn't want to do it.  It sounded like a ton of work with reason after reason to be anxious.  The thought of getting us all ready for a 5 week international adventure was daunting alone, without figuring in my fatigue and morning sickness of first trimester.  However, I've come to learn that when my husband feels prompted by God, it's a wise thing to listen and receive my own spiritual confirmation. As I pondered and prayed and opened my heart, an unusual and unfamiliar calmness settled upon me.  I knew that God wanted us to take our whole family on this "mission" and that it would be a great blessing for us.  I knew that God had prompted us to have this baby at THIS time, that He'd also ...

SUNDAY, MARCH 7, 2010 Seeing the World through her Eyes. The other day I was sitting at the computer when Brie took my hand and put a ball in it. This is her latest way of letting me know that she wants me for something. How patient she can be with her often preoccupied mom. I turned the chair around to play with her and she walked over to the door (that leads into the office) and tapped on it with hand. She was letting me know that she wanted to go out of our apartment so I opened the door and followed her as she walked through the office around the corner and up the stairs. When we got to the entry she walked over to my Parents' front door and reached for the doorknob. I opened it and she backed herself off of the step, lifted herself up to standing and walked over to the edge of the porch. And there she stood and took it all in...she was mesmerized by the chirping birds and the cars passing by. She must have been thinking, "Mom I've been here on Earth for over a ...