Weeding.

When we first moved in, the side yard was primarily sandy clay with a few scattered weeds and patches of tall grass.  I had a vision of creating a quaint rock path surrounded by wild flowers.

We got to work putting the flagstone pieces down then prepped the soil for sowing the seeds.  Since April, every morning and evening I've watered the hillside.  Because I have very little experience with gardening and even less with wild flowers, I decided to let any green thing grow.

About two months later I asked Gretchen, my green-thumbed friend & gardening guru (say that five times fast), to come take a look and help me figure out what was growing.  With ease she identified the different flowers and weeds.  After she left I took my bucket and pulled up most weeds, but left a few varieties because I thought they were harmless and pretty and were helping to keep the soil from eroding.

Last week she was over again helping me in my yard.  She glanced at the path as she passed, admiring the blooms and pointing out the weeds.
This time, feeling much more settled in our house, having grown accustomed to daily weeding and caring for my flowers, I was ready to pull out the rest.

I had come to learn a few things about weeds...

...how seemingly harmless they start, but how invasive they become
...how quickly they multiply
...that smaller weeds tend to hide under the leaves of the bigger weeds
...and even though they may aid in keeping the top soil put, they keep the water & sunlight from the neighboring flowers.



There may now be bare patches where weeds once were, but I can intentionally plan for what I want to plant there. It brings satisfaction to look at my hillside and see that what is flourishing, is what I WANT to flourish.   I can have confidence that when I water my hillside that I am investing in the vision that I have and little by little making it a reality.

As I sat there on the stony ground, I thought about my journey with therapy.
At the beginning I felt overrun, exhausted and incapable of change.  I was confused and constantly bombarded with guilt, shame and negative thoughts.
Eventually the vision I had for myself was so far off from my reality that I was willing to do the hard work to bring them in to alignment.

My therapist knew well the weeds of deception that had been planted long ago, but also saw the seedlings of potential.

Little by little he has helped me to identify which things no longer serve me and which ones deserve my time, energy and resources in order to be nourished and grow.

The beauty is, once we've identified a deception, I can more easily spot it in other areas of my life.

It's been a freeing process.

Sometimes it just takes someone farther up the path helping us see what we can't yet see.  Sometimes it requires the faith and confidence of other people, until we have developed our own.  Sometimes it takes vision and gumption and grit.  And always it takes weeding and watering the truth.

Yes there will be weeds
there will ALWAYS be weeds, BUT...
now I can see them for what they are and quickly do something about them before they take over and crowd out the beauty in my life.