Motherhood Monday: Seeing the World through her Eyes.

SUNDAY, MARCH 7, 2010
Seeing the World through her Eyes.

The other day I was sitting at the computer when Brie took my hand and put a ball in it. This is her latest way of letting me know that she wants me for something. How patient she can be with her often preoccupied mom. I turned the chair around to play with her and she walked over to the door (that leads into the office) and tapped on it with hand. She was letting me know that she wanted to go out of our apartment so I opened the door and followed her as she walked through the office around the corner and up the stairs. When we got to the entry she walked over to my Parents' front door and reached for the doorknob. I opened it and she backed herself off of the step, lifted herself up to standing and walked over to the edge of the porch. And there she stood and took it all in...she was mesmerized by the chirping birds and the cars passing by. She must have been thinking, "Mom I've been here on Earth for over a year and have barely seen anything of it!" :0) In any case, it was the cutest little chain of events, and it makes me even more excited for warm weather! I'm excited to rediscover the World through her eyes.  Later that afternoon we went out a few more times so I could snap some pictures of Brie enjoying the Earth :0)

Discovering dirt for the first time.

2 April 2018
It's interesting to go back and read this post from 8 years ago.  I was a first time mom who LOVED my beautiful daughter, but felt like such a novice at being a mom.  Though living in my Parents' basement apartment I still dealt with feelings of isolation and loneliness.  My husband took our one car to commute to work in SLC so I wasn't able to get out much, I was (largely unbeknownst to me at the time) dealing with anxiety and depression and often escaped it by spending time on my computer (I didn't have a smart phone back then ;0)).  I had friends who would say how much they loved being a mom and I didn't get it.  Motherhood didn't come naturally to me.  It took me a whole year before I felt like I even knew what was going on.  Most moments I didn't enjoy and didn't understand why others would. But how grateful I am for my patient daughter who lovingly helped me to emerge from my cave to see the beauty of the world.  I'm grateful that we don't have to be PERFECT or even get it "right" the first, second, third, fourth, fifth time.  How much more peace would we experience if we chose patience for OURSELVES?  I think I need to zoom out more often and see how far I've come and give myself a pat on the back.

Also when I look back at this moment I think of how my therapist talks about learning to be present and to ground ourselves in the moment by using our 5 senses. What do I see?  Taste? Touch? Smell? Hear?  I think children can teach us a lot about being more present!  He's encouraged me to use my five senses when doing a momentous activity to really soak it in and allow it to fill me up.  I used to miss out on built-in fill up opportunities each day: quiet mornings, time to think while doing the dishes, driving by myself, listening to music while getting ready.  Now I try to be more present to enjoy where I'm at instead of being completely lost in my thoughts.

What ways have you found to be more present and enjoy your current circumstances?