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If I took a look at my life it essentially had all the elements that I would handpick, yet I was constantly trying to escape my reality. Usually I escaped through endless, mindless, insatiable scrolling on social media and by eating junk food. But nothing seemed to fill the void. I was almost always tired, irritable, easily angered and annoyed. I loved spending time with my husband or by myself, but it was never enough. I did things I enjoyed but felt like I was stealing the time or being selfish. In spite of my extremely supportive husband, each day felt like an uncontrollable vicious cycle with no way of changing things. Showering, getting ready, and exercising didn't feel like priority or even possibilities. Regardless of my efforts I chronically felt behind in everything. My kids seemed more burdensome than anything else, with never-ending messes, requests, tantrums, fights, whining and complaining. The resentment I felt towards them seemed to mount every day. Guilt was a daily part of life. If I was doing the dishes, I felt guilt for not spending time with my children. If I was making my kids a priority I felt like everything else fell apart. The smallest things felt overwhelming. It was as if my nerves were shot and I was one input away from either blowing up or melting down. My husband did so much to keep me happy yet was walking on egg shells because I was so easily offended and hurt. Regardless of how guarded I kept my schedule, I felt like my days were FILLED with one hurdle after another and like the stressors never ended. I felt high strung, uptight, yet didn't know how to change that. I grasped any semblance of control and order amidst the seemingly constant chaos. I was frequently preoccupied with upcoming hurdles and seldomly felt happy. I felt like my husband and kids would be better off with someone else in their life. I honestly hated myself and felt like I was my worst enemy.
Enter Therapy.
Oh my goodness, I can not say enough of what a gift therapy has been. It has turned my life around and empowered me to be much MUCH more of the person I have always yearned to be. For the first time in a long time, instead of feeling like I was trapped at the bottom of a deep, dark pit that I was perpetually trying to claw my way out of, I felt like I had finally surfaced, was free and could feel the sunshine on my face. THIS was the Sarah that was hiding under years of baggage and debilitating layers of deceptions, doubts, fears and insecurities. This was a person I had hoped to be. I was finally able to give my loved ones the best version of myself. With that came a flood of confidence and love for myself. Instead of hiding or excusing myself or incessant comparing, I felt enlivened and excited to shine forth in my own way. It's been amazing!
The two things that have truly helped me the most so far in therapy are the Momentum Trackers and Self-Leadership.
The Momentum Tracker is a simple yet powerful tool to help shift the way we think about and direct our days. I like to think of it as if we are all cars needing to be filled up.
Too many of us run on empty, waiting for individuals or circumstances to fill us up. The Momentum Tracker is a way to learn how and when we best fill up our tanks and then to choose to fill up intentionally throughout the day. Most of what I do hasn't changed THAT much, but the way I FEEL about it and the excitement AND energy I have for each day is drastically different! I tend to be more efficient because I want to get through the mundane tasks (though I'm learning ways to enjoy those too), so that I can get to my level 3 activities. I am much less uptight about messes and requests from my kids (that may in part be the Zoloft at work ;0)), and see them as part of my day instead of my ENTIRE day. I am really passionate about the Trackers because they have been so life-changing for me and my family.
(If you are interested in getting a copy of the Momentum Tracker that my therapist designed, for personal non-commercial use, please let me know!)
Self-Leadership in a nutshell is the way we look at our thoughts and train ourselves to be intentional about our words & actions instead of feeling out of control and too often tethered to knee jerk reactions. It's a powerful principle.
The video (link) above will explain how I felt leading up to therapy and go into detail about these two tools & concepts. I hope they are insightful and life-changing for you as well, and contribute to your overall health and well-being as they have for me.
If I took a look at my life it essentially had all the elements that I would handpick, yet I was constantly trying to escape my reality. Usually I escaped through endless, mindless, insatiable scrolling on social media and by eating junk food. But nothing seemed to fill the void. I was almost always tired, irritable, easily angered and annoyed. I loved spending time with my husband or by myself, but it was never enough. I did things I enjoyed but felt like I was stealing the time or being selfish. In spite of my extremely supportive husband, each day felt like an uncontrollable vicious cycle with no way of changing things. Showering, getting ready, and exercising didn't feel like priority or even possibilities. Regardless of my efforts I chronically felt behind in everything. My kids seemed more burdensome than anything else, with never-ending messes, requests, tantrums, fights, whining and complaining. The resentment I felt towards them seemed to mount every day. Guilt was a daily part of life. If I was doing the dishes, I felt guilt for not spending time with my children. If I was making my kids a priority I felt like everything else fell apart. The smallest things felt overwhelming. It was as if my nerves were shot and I was one input away from either blowing up or melting down. My husband did so much to keep me happy yet was walking on egg shells because I was so easily offended and hurt. Regardless of how guarded I kept my schedule, I felt like my days were FILLED with one hurdle after another and like the stressors never ended. I felt high strung, uptight, yet didn't know how to change that. I grasped any semblance of control and order amidst the seemingly constant chaos. I was frequently preoccupied with upcoming hurdles and seldomly felt happy. I felt like my husband and kids would be better off with someone else in their life. I honestly hated myself and felt like I was my worst enemy.
Enter Therapy.
Oh my goodness, I can not say enough of what a gift therapy has been. It has turned my life around and empowered me to be much MUCH more of the person I have always yearned to be. For the first time in a long time, instead of feeling like I was trapped at the bottom of a deep, dark pit that I was perpetually trying to claw my way out of, I felt like I had finally surfaced, was free and could feel the sunshine on my face. THIS was the Sarah that was hiding under years of baggage and debilitating layers of deceptions, doubts, fears and insecurities. This was a person I had hoped to be. I was finally able to give my loved ones the best version of myself. With that came a flood of confidence and love for myself. Instead of hiding or excusing myself or incessant comparing, I felt enlivened and excited to shine forth in my own way. It's been amazing!
The two things that have truly helped me the most so far in therapy are the Momentum Trackers and Self-Leadership.
The Momentum Tracker is a simple yet powerful tool to help shift the way we think about and direct our days. I like to think of it as if we are all cars needing to be filled up.
Too many of us run on empty, waiting for individuals or circumstances to fill us up. The Momentum Tracker is a way to learn how and when we best fill up our tanks and then to choose to fill up intentionally throughout the day. Most of what I do hasn't changed THAT much, but the way I FEEL about it and the excitement AND energy I have for each day is drastically different! I tend to be more efficient because I want to get through the mundane tasks (though I'm learning ways to enjoy those too), so that I can get to my level 3 activities. I am much less uptight about messes and requests from my kids (that may in part be the Zoloft at work ;0)), and see them as part of my day instead of my ENTIRE day. I am really passionate about the Trackers because they have been so life-changing for me and my family.
(If you are interested in getting a copy of the Momentum Tracker that my therapist designed, for personal non-commercial use, please let me know!)
Self-Leadership in a nutshell is the way we look at our thoughts and train ourselves to be intentional about our words & actions instead of feeling out of control and too often tethered to knee jerk reactions. It's a powerful principle.
The video (link) above will explain how I felt leading up to therapy and go into detail about these two tools & concepts. I hope they are insightful and life-changing for you as well, and contribute to your overall health and well-being as they have for me.
i would LOVE a copy of your momentum tracker. Is it pretty self explanatory on how to use it?
ReplyDeleteAwesome! I'll PM you on Facebook for your email address and get it sent your way!
DeleteI'd love a copy too Sarah!
DeleteI'd love a copy of your momentum tracker. I think it sounds similar to something i did in therapy last year, but i'm not sure. Whatever i did wasn't called a momentum tracker. Is all i remember.
ReplyDeleteI'd be happy to send you one!
Delete