About 3 years ago I gave this talk in Sacrament Meeting at church. I loved studying the virtue of meekness (I honestly had never really understood it) and humility. I feel like both tie in so closely with our journeys of emotional, spiritual and mental health. Much of it has to do with expectations. In this video I share a few experiences I had recently, one of which it came down to choosing Pride, Embarrassment and Humiliation or Peace, Edification and Humility.
Wherever you are in YOUR journey, I want to applaud you and cheer you on! Keep going, you're doing better than you know! Hold on to the angels in your life and any spark of good that you can see around you. Find the source of your true strength and strive to stay connected. Things will get better, especially when God is a part of the equation. He loves you dearly and is there to help. Call out to Him!
SATURDAY, AUGUST 29, 2015
Since last week when I got the call to speak on humility
I’ve been thinking about what I could say today. Every time I sat down to
write my talk, nothing would come. The few ideas that did come to mind
were disjointed and awkward. I started praying a little more fervently,
asking to know what Heavenly Father would have me say. As the words began
to come, I was reminded of my great dependence on the Lord and I thought of the
scripture in John 5:30 where Jesus said, “I can of mine own self do
nothing…” How grateful I am that the Lord takes our best yet feeble
efforts and magnifies and prospers them!
While preparing to speak today, I looked up the meaning of
the words MEEKNESS and HUMILITY. Although I’ve grown up hearing the word
meek, I honestly couldn’t say that I knew what it meant. As I’ve googled,
and read a bit here and there, the best definition I could find is that
meekness is strength that we have learned to control. Meekness does not
mean weakness. True meekness does not resemble a mouse or a door mat, but
rather a strong individual who wisely chooses to act calmly and with
gentleness.
I will be the first to admit that meekness has not been
strength of mine. I grew up with a fiery spirit, often on a soap box,
trying to aggressively assert my opinion. About a decade ago I met a
woman who seemed to have equally strong opinions but voiced them with a calm
and caring demeanor. It dawned on me that it isn’t always the loudest
voice that is heard and that I may have missed opportunities to influence
others for good because my strength was not tempered. I can see why our
Savior who described himself as meek and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:29) invites
us to seek meekness.
While I read a quote by Neal A. Maxwell, where he eloquently
expounds upon this idea, I want us to envision the often self-imposed and worldly
expectations as heavy baggage that we sometimes carry. Elder Maxwell
states, “Happily, the commandment “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for
I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29) carries an accompanying and
compensating promise from Jesus—“and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” This
is a very special form of rest. It surely includes the rest resulting from the
shedding of certain needless burdens: fatiguing
insincerity, exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for
recognition, praise, and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or
another, often do so because we carry such unnecessary and heavybaggage.
Being thus overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for
ourselves. We need not carry such baggage. However, when we’re notmeek,
we resist the informing voice of conscience and feedback from family, leaders,
and friends. Whether from preoccupation or pride, the warning signals go
unnoticed or unheeded. However, if sufficient meekness is in
us, it will not only help us to jettison unneeded burdens, but will also keep
us from becoming mired in the ooze of self-pity. Furthermore,true meekness
has a metabolism that actually requires very little praise or recognition.”
How many of us flourish by the praise of the world, but are
offended and defensive at any criticism or suggestions we’re given? Are
we perhaps relying on the wrong sources for input and approval?
Elder Soares in his conference address entitled “Be Meek and
Lowly of Heart” said that, “The humble areteachable, recognizing how
dependent they are on God and desiring to be subject to His
will.”
When anticipating my first French teaching evaluation, the
thought came to me that it would be important to be soft-heartened and
teachable otherwise her critiques would come across as painful and breaking
blows. Her page and a half of comments was initially overwhelming, but as
I took each one in stride, with the help of the spirit to temper me, I was able
to become a better and more capable French teacher. The correction I
feared was what ultimately helped me to excel.
A similar progression is expected of us as disciples of
Christ. In Elder Soares suggests that, “As we take Christ’s name
upon us, it is expected that we strive to emulate His attributes and change our
character to become more like Him each day. Meekness is vital for us to become
more Christlike.” For, in part, the way that we react to people directly
affects our progress as disciples. Elder Soares invites us to think for a
few seconds about that correlation, “how [do] you react when someone does not
comply with your desires the moment you want them to[?] What about when people
disagree with your ideas, even though you are absolutely sure that they
represent the proper solution to a problem? What is your response when someone
offends you, critiques your efforts, or is simply unkind because he or she is
in a bad mood? At these moments and in other difficult situations, we must
learn to control our temper and convey our feelings with patience and gentle
persuasion.” I honestly felt a little defeated when I first heard that
list of questions. It was obvious that I had a long way to go in the
meekness department. But I love what the Apostle Paul taught that
meekness is a fruit of the Spirit.4 Therefore,
it can most easily be attained if we “live in the Spirit.” The
companionship of the spirit is key to any progress, change and growth!
Yesterday we attended the baptism and confirmation for our
friends’ son. I couldn’t help but think what an absolute blessing it is
to have the gift of the Holy Ghost. I love that we can attain Christ-like
virtues as “we live in the spirit.” It almost makes me think of being
immersed in a second language. It may feel unnatural and be challenging at
first, but as we try our best to learn and push forward, eventually things will
start clicking. We may not feel that meekness is a current strength, but
with time, especially as we are immersed in the spirit, we can be blessed with
this gift. We can learn to react calmly, respond gently, and have greater
control of ourselves. We will be more able to take the constructive
correction and suggestions of others and be all the better for it.
This process involves being lowly of heart. Jeffrey R.
Holland’s wife, Patricia, gave a fabulous address at Brigham Young University
on these two virtues (Becoming Meek and Lowly in Heart). In it she
mentions a conversation that she had had with her father several years previous.
Her father had said, “Confidence is a great blessing to anyone who has it. But
Jeff [Elder Holland] is also smart enough to knowwhat to have
confidence in. Both of you need to remember that your greatest
strength and surest success will come through humility and
dependence upon the Lord.” Sister Holland continues her address to the
body of college students, “I have thought a lot about my father’s wisdom,
especially now when it seems our society appears to value success and thewhole
self-image package at almost any price.Meekness and lowliness in heart
are certainly not characteristics any contemporary young urban professional
would want to claim. Instead, it seems that these young men and women want to
be regarded as totally confident in manner, dependent upon no one,
assertive, and excessively protective of their image of self…”
Although she was speaking to young students here, do any of
us fall in the same trap? Where more than anything we want to come across
as confident and independent? I know I often do! I want to share a
personal experience from a few years ago when we were living in St.
Louis. Bryan was busy working on his PhD and I was keeping busy with Brie
and Alex. I thought things were fine. I was trying so hard to
juggle the various plates in my life and was keeping busy. It wasn't
until one day when I found myself in what felt like such a humiliating
situation, that I fell to my knees and sobbed to my Heavenly Father...muttering
that I couldn't do it anymore and that my best efforts had failed me. I
felt like my little world had come crashing down. Although I tend to
overreact and get emotional about things, in a way things had fallen apart, and
that was OK because it brought me to my knees...and brought me finally to the
Lord. As I prayed my humiliation turned to humility.
I felt the Lord's love for me. I felt that with His help, IF I continued
to turn to Him, that He and I could pick up the pieces and make something
better than was before. For honestly the first time in my life I really
felt a connection with the phrase "a broken heart and contrite
spirit." Although it’s never fun to reach rock bottom in any aspect
of life, I was grateful that this last straw had brought me to my Heavenly
Father. It had helped to humble me enough to turn to Him for help,
finally willing to hear Him out and do what He saw fit. There is great
strength that comes when we turn our will to the Lord. After all, He is
the master architect, carpenter, creator. He knows when things need to be
torn down or changed. He sees what can be created with diligent effort
and how to make it a reality.
Sister Holland related a similar sentiment, saying “Indeed,
I have come to realize that my own personal promptings from the Lord most often
occur when I have been brought down into the depths of humility and suddenly
feel a lot less confident in my own ability and much more dependent upon the
Lord. He certainly uses my pain as his megaphone for an otherwise dull ear. I
am beginning to see that the very experiences I would have chosen to run away
from at the time have really been the major motivational turning points in my
life.”
Just yesterday morning it felt like life was caving in on
me. I was filled with negative thoughts, I was feeling bad for the way I
had been acting and wasn’t sure how to move forward. I broke down in
tears in the middle of my closet and prayed for my Father’s help. As
always, he came to my aid. Oh how I need Him!
I love the definition of humility given in True to
the Faith, (2004), 86–87 “To be humble is to recognize gratefully your
dependence on the Lord—to understand that you haveconstant need for His
support. Humility is an acknowledgment that your talents and abilities are
gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an
indication that you know where your true strength lies. You can be
both humble and fearless. You can be both humble and courageous.”
I am such a visual person and am forever thinking of
analogies. When I hear the word strength I think of power and
electricity. Bear with me for a second :0) Imagine that being proud
is like a light bulb claiming its brilliance in making its own light.
When in reality it must be plugged in to the source of electricity to shine at
all. When we are humble and recognize the source of our power we are much
more likely to stay connected to the source and will then have
the ability to brightly shine forth. (See Video on Being Connected to the Source.)
President Kimball had the key to (re)establishing this
connection with God:
First, you evaluate yourself. What am I? I am the circle.
I am the hole in the doughnut. I would be nothing without the Lord. My breath,
my brains, my hearing, my sight, my locomotion, my everything depends upon the
Lord. That is the first step and then we pray, and pray often, and we will not
get up from our knees until we have communicated. The line may be down; we may
have let it fall to pieces, but I will not get up from my knees until I have
established communication—if it is twenty minutes, if it is all night like
Enos. . . . If it takes all day long, you stay on your knees until
your unhumbleness has dissipated, until you feel the humble spirit and realize,
“I could die this minute if it were not for the Lord’s good grace. I am
dependent upon him—totally dependent upon him.” [TSWK pp.
233–34]
I was recently reading a blog by Sarah Short of Short Stop Blog. As mother of
five she was responding to the frequent question that she gets, “How do you do
it with 5 kids??” Although she is referring to motherhood, I think her
words can apply to each of us in our various situations.
“I'm maxed totally maxed out…
But, mothering is easier for me now than it used to be. For
one reason: I need God more.
I need him in the morning, at noon and at night. I need him
to wipe my tears when my baby won't let me sleep at night. I need him to calm
my heart when I'm changing bed sheets at 2 a.m. I need him to keep my children
safe because I only have two hands and one set of eyes, and crossing a parking
lot means holding on tight, but it also means letting go of "I can do this"
and trading it for "God, you are with me, and you love them, too."
I need him to help me trade my doing for his doing.
I need his patience.
I need his joy.
I need his love.”
She goes on to say that she use to flail, “about amidst all
of that and tried to raise my children in the Land of I Can Do This.
[God] He's taught me that he loves my children more than I
do, and he loves to hear my voice calling out to himand letting him
fill me with strength and wisdom and love and joy for my children.”
Whatever it is that we do each day, whether it’s going to
school, putting in long hours at work, trying to stay on top of our households,
making ends meet, serving others, taking care of our families, striving to make
changes, trying to make a difference in the world…whatever it is, remember that
we will always be better off when the Lord is in the equation. Humbly
turning to Him will ALWAYS be our best bet. Isn’t it ironic that we’re
better off when we realize that we can’t do it all? That it’s NOT all up
to us? But it’s true.
In closing I want to share one of my favorite quotes, “Do
the best you can until you know better then when you know better, do better.” (Maya Angelou)
As we each strive to be more like Jesus Christ through meekness and humility, I
pray that we will choose to turn to the Lord and know that is through Him that
we can do all things! Let us remember that, “I can do all things
through Christ which strengtheneth me (Phillipians 4:13).
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