Last Fall when I felt like my life was a mess and didn't know where to start making changes, I attended a Stake Conference at church and came away with 2 distinct promptings:
Wake up at 6AM
and go on a morning walk.
It may sound simple, but I was used to rolling out of bed when my kids needed me in the morning and rarely made exercise a priority. Over the next 7 months I kept to those two priorities as best as I could. (Little did I know then that it would help pave the way for other important changes along the way, one of the biggest being the use of a Momentum Tracker starting in November.) As the temperatures dropped and the Fall turned in to Winter I stayed the course. Other than icy roads or pouring rain, you'd see me out bundled up in layers walking each morning before the sun came up. It was empowering and satisfying to take better charge of my health.
March came around and so did morning sickness. As much as I wanted to continue, I just didn't have it in me. Other than a handful of walks, my 2 1/2 month first trimester hiatus turned in to almost 6 months due to a very busy Summer. In August, around when school started, I found myself heading back up that hill that I had before known so well. My pace was slower, my 6 month pregnant self waddled as I went. Almost as soon as I started putting one foot in front of another, a little voice filled my mind, "Why are you even starting again? You're in your 3rd trimester! It's almost been 6 months!" The stinging voice persisted. As I approached the top of the street, the point where I would have normal started jogging home, after such a long break, I knew well that jogging would not be a reality that day. The cutting voice returned, "You are overweight and out of shape, you shouldn't be out here for everyone to see." By that point I was taken back. I knew this voice, I recognized it well. It was the adversary filling my head with hurtful deceptions. It reminded me of something the spirit had once taught me while in the temple. The devil would have us cover ourselves in shame and guilt, damming our progress. Whereas the Lord would cover us with His atonement, enabling us to hopefully continue on the path towards God. With that thought the voice then changed, I recognized the kind and encouraging tone of my Savior, "I'm proud of you for starting again. We've got this! Every effort makes a difference. Keep going."
I was so grateful for that reminder and the recognition of who I'd been listening to. How often before I would have listened to those damaging lies and stopped trying. I believe that one of the most important things we do in this mortal life is to recognize truth and lies and to strive to use our agency to align our will with the truth.
If you're ever feeling discouraged and like all hope is lost, recognize which voice you're listening to. Is it one that empowers, encourages and invigorates? Our Savior doesn't use shame to motivate, He doesn't undermine or discourage our efforts. His atonement enables us to try TRY AGAIN and to do so with His hope, perspective and guidance.
What small step can you take? You may feel how I did, floundering, overwhelmed and unsure about how to proceed. Pray and ask God what next step He sees on your path. It may feel insignificant, but perhaps will be one of the most important that you take for this season of your life. Trust His counsel and expect His continued direction as you seek to walk alongside Him.
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