By His Grace I Can.

This morning I was kneeling on the tile floor in our laundry room, fishing to the side of our dryer to pull out all of the random items that had fallen there over the last several months.  My 3 year old daughter came in clutching a necklace and apologizing sweetly for having broken it, I wish I could say I handled it calmly. I wish I could write that I sweetly forgave her. but the reality is I was so upset. Although she loves to borrow my necklaces, realistically she has rarely broken any of them.  But I think it's the fact that her older brother, my gem loving son, has often been the culprit, taking my jewelry without asking then either losing or breaking it. All of the past frustration flooded into the moment.  I grabbed the necklace and with frustration told her I was upset that something else of mine was now broken. My daughter ran off to her room in tears.  And I walked down the hall to mention the broken chain to my husband, "I don't want to just sa...

This morning I'd only been awake for a few minutes when I heard my oldest daughter scream.  It was one of those screams that you don't ignore.  One that signals some sort of danger or at least fear and pain.  I ran downstairs.  Between quick panicked breaths and sobs she was yelling at her brother to stop kicking her.  It's important that I note that this particular brother deals with ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and, although at the core of him is a heart of gold and beautiful intentions, at times it is as if he changes into Mr. Hyde.  The ensuing interactions are usually abrasive and hurtful both emotionally and sometimes physically.  I have told him on several occasions that if he is doing something that is hurting someone, they have asked him to stop and he persists, they have my permission to protect and defend themselves. (We also talk about getting out of the situation, but sometimes my son bear holds them and won't let them out.) Appar...

I wanted to share one of the reasons that I haven't posted in several months. September 2016, at 10 weeks pregnant, our fifth baby earned its wings. It was a really painful and poignant time for our family, yet through it we saw how God brings sweetness to bitter experiences.   At the time I decided to share some of my thoughts from that day in the hospital-- Well, a little over a year and a half later we are expecting again!  We are overjoyed and feel incredibly grateful.  As I write that, it dawns on me that this little one is due right around Thanksgiving and what appropriate timing.  We are indeed SO very thankful. In part I wanted to share this news here because my mental health has been part of the journey.  We wanted to try sooner for a baby but I felt strongly that I needed to take some time for myself to get my health in better order, especially my mental health.  How far the Lord has brought me this last year!!  I fe...