By His Grace I Can.

About a year ago, one of my sisters was in town visiting for a few days.  I had finished lunch with the kids and had been down in my craft room for a few minutes, working with my sister to photograph items for her Etsy shop... when I heard a  serious cry of pain from my third child. He is a sensitive little guy and tends to cry easily and frequently,  but I knew something was definitely wrong.  I dashed up the stairs.   As I rounded the banister I see my son kneeling on the floor, blood dripping from his face and a puddle of blood on the carpet.    Unlike my other sister who was an ICU nurse for years, I get queasy over the smallest little injuries, even paper cuts.  If I could I'd always leave the injuries to another adult to field.   In any case, I knew that I needed to be as calm as possible to figure out what was going on.   And though I was somewhat composed I was still very panicky.   My daughters, who ha...

A few months in to this COVID-19 pandemic, someone posted that we are in the same storm, but not the same boat.   That struck a chord with me.   Yes, we may be dealing with similar overarching issues, but the implications and underlying issues are so personal. You may be suffering because of... ...a lay off ...a loved one fighting for their life or another who has passed away because of this terrible virus ...being quarantined at home for too long without respite or help ...family ties are already strained and quarantine has just exacerbated them. ...the panic and paranoia that comes from such a large scale disruption ...getting the virus and struggling through the symptoms and recovery My prayer for months has been, "Please bless those who are suffering because of this pandemic."  Whatever you are facing, I pray that a glimmer of God's love and hope can reach you, and help see you through to the other side. I looked through the last several months and these are...

To say that the last few months has been hard would be an understatement.  COVID-19, school closures and social distancing has exacerbated an already stressful time.  My husband and I agree that this season has been the most challenging that we've ever gone through as a couple.  It has pushed us to the limits and required our all.  We both struggle with our mental health and since March it has often felt like we've been taking turns propping the other one up. At the end of March, we started moving to a different house across town.  After we got a truck full of our furniture moved over (thanks to angel ward members!), we thought it'd be nice to slowly ferry the rest.  We joke that in reality it was more like giving birth for 2 1/2 months.  Day after day, week after week, we were worn out and barely hanging on. The constant chaos, noise, quarreling and messes were relentless.  Add in a series of unfortunate events with moving and settling in an...

I recently have been thinking about God's love.  Why is it that we can't always feel it?  Why do we feel so lost and trapped in darkness at times? I want to share an entry that I wrote five years ago on our family blog.  (I've left out names for the privacy of my family.) MONDAY, JANUARY 27, 20 14 He loves even me. "Wow January has been a rough month.  Let's see what has been going on... Got back from Utah a few days before the New Year, both boys were sick (coughs, congestion, fevers, snotty noses).  At least one of us has been sick since October.  Four months of passing around bugs is no fun.   Then there was the "Snowmageddon" here in St. Louis where we got a giant snowstorm and were "snowed in" for a few days, combined with sub zero temperatures.  Between sickies and FRIGID weather there has been little of venturing out and much staying in.   It wouldn't be so bad but it feels like our apartment is slowly closing i...

Imagine yourself at the bottom of a deep dark hole.  At the top you see an often blue sky, puffy clouds, sunset and sunshine.  Yet regardless of your seemingly constantly efforts to get out of this pit, you never are able to.  Sure the pin light perspective of nature brings you hope and moments of happiness, but you feel so far removed from it.  Your tireless attempts leave you exhausted, irritable, frustrated, discouraged, doubtful and depressed.  Within ear shot you hear so many others who are loving life, but regardless of what you have, your blessed circumstances or even who loves you, you just don't feel it. Though you want nothing more, you simply can't understand how the sunshine feels. Through a series of promptings from God, you & your husband take a leap of faith and move your family of 6 across the country, in the middle of the COLD Midwest Winter.  You find yourself much CLOSER to home, but still 3 hours from family and feeling very much...

MONDAY, JULY 8, 2013 The Weight of Every Day. As I've mentioned things have been overwhelming lately and I often find myself losing my temper and frustrated with myself and the kids.  Bry has been trying to help out whenever he can to lighten my load...which currently feels like an emotional load more than anything.  It's not just the responsibility of taking care of three small children, those darn hormones are at play too!! ;0)  In any case, yesterday morning I woke up to Bry standing next to our bed with breakfast for me.  I sat up, put on my glasses and looked at the time... 8:48!  I'd been up with the kids around 6:30--just long enough for Brie to go to the bathroom and to usher them both back into their room to play til 7:05--then I'd gone back to bed.  In the meantime Bry had played with the kids and fed them breakfast so that I could sleep.  That dear man!  As I ate I could hear sweet Elijah contently sucking on his thumb.  What...