By His Grace I Can.

Things have been rough in our home lately.  It feels like the kids are more often than not very contentious and critical of each other, and oftentimes I chime in with cutting remarks to counter theirs.  This evening, while attempting to have dinner, one son was chasing another with a broom and a third one got involved and got clawed by his angry brother.  We called everyone over to try to sort things out and calm them down, but one by one the kids were "casting in" their own "stones".  I felt like I was looking at a group of feral, injured animals, all ready to pounce and inflict more wounds.  My frustration turned to sadness. Though my son's scratches were only surface level, I felt a tenderness towards this often unruly son and with it a desire to gently put band aids on his arm.  Then quietly I opened to one of the most poignant passages of scripture, Alma 7:11-12,    And he shall go forth, suffering pains and   afflictions   and ...

If you could jump back with me 32 years, I'd be meeting a little girl in Mrs. Barlow's first grade class who would quickly become and remain one of my nearest and dearest friends.  She has been like a sister to me over the years and has helped me weather many a storm.  Unfortunately after high school graduation, unlike our early dream of being college room mates, our paths took us far away from each other.  When she was in Utah I was in Idaho.  We were both in Utah Valley for a short stint, then I was in France then Canada.  When I came home to Utah, she moved to Canada.  Several years later, the week she moved back to Utah, we moved to St. Louis.  Since then it has been ten years since we've lived in any sort of close proximity to each other. Through it all we've remained DEAR friends, the kind that pick things right back up where they left off.   Inevitably our itineraries would overlap briefly over the Summers or holidays and we'd make eff...

  Years ago, while preparing for a natural birth with our first daughter, my Nother Mother mentioned relaxing and submitting to the process--that my body would know what to do.  Even tension and tightness in my jaw would hinder my progress while laboring. Several times I've felt impressed that this part of my journey is like  transition during child birth.   It's the discomfort, pain and rigor that make way for new life. BUT fighting it only delays it. Have I mentioned that I've resisted EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing)?  I'm quite proficient in analyzing situations cognitively, but seem to avoid FEELING my way through them. The last few times I've gone to therapy I've prayed and asked that I will allow myself to feel and learn what I need to, instead of resisting it. On Friday, my therapist asked a question to guide me to where my work needed to be for the session.  The memory that came to mind felt like the tip of the iceberg for unde...

With the worldwide pandemic in swing, I have really struggled with whether or not I'm going to send my kids back to school.   Sometimes when things feel especially overwhelming, my reflex is to pretend them away ,  or perpetually procrastinate  and postpone the decision.   But you can only put things off for so long. A few weeks ago I finally prayed,  "Heavenly Father, you know that I'm afraid of this, you know I don't want to think about it, please just help me to have an open mind and a soft heart so I can know what would be best." One quiet little thought came... Consider each child and their unique situation.   I let that thought simmer for awhile, but my prayer continued, as did my pondering.   I thought of the hymn, "Lead, Kindly Light". "Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene--one step enough for me." Previously, it felt as if I had a been given one small step,  but again was in darkness. ...

Last week my twin & I had a birthday.  Let's just say we're now tipping towards 40! When I woke up that morning I was alone in my room.  One of the very first thoughts I had was, "You're all alone on your birthday.  If your kids loved you, they'd be in here with you."  Thankfully I'm getting better at filtering my thoughts so I quickly identified who this thought was coming from and countered it with my own thought. "Oh what a way to wish me a Happy Birthday, Satan.  Nice lies !"  And I took it as an invitation to pray to my Heavenly Father and ask for His truths about me.  I quickly felt how much love my Heavenly Parents have for me and how much they'd want me to feel it, especially on the day celebrating my official beginning here on Earth.  How grateful I am for being able to recognize the lies and turn to the truth. Today at church we were talking about the prophet Elijah and the Priests of Baal. I thought of this experien...

Last Fall when I felt like my life was a mess and didn't know where to start making changes, I attended a Stake Conference at church and came away with 2 distinct promptings: Wake up at 6AM and go on a morning walk. It may sound simple, but I was used to rolling out of bed when my kids needed me in the morning and rarely made exercise a priority.  Over the next 7 months I kept to those two priorities as best as I could.  (Little did I know then that it would help pave the way for other important changes along the way, one of the biggest being the use of a Momentum Tracker starting in November.)  As the temperatures dropped and the Fall turned in to Winter I stayed the course.  Other than icy roads or pouring rain, you'd see me out bundled up in layers walking each morning before the sun came up.  It was empowering and satisfying to take better charge of my health. March came around and so did morning sickness.  As much as I wanted to co...

About 3 years ago I gave this talk in Sacrament Meeting at church.  I loved studying the virtue of meekness (I honestly had never really understood it) and humility.  I feel like both tie in so closely with our journeys of emotional, spiritual and mental health.  Much of it has to do with expectations.  In this video I share a few experiences I had recently, one of which it came down to choosing Pride, Embarrassment and Humiliation or Peace, Edification and Humility. Wherever you are in YOUR journey, I want to applaud you and cheer you on! Keep going, you're doing better than you know!   Hold on to the angels in your life and any spark of good that you can see around you.  Find the source of your true strength and strive to stay connected.  Things will get better, especially when God is a part of the equation.  He loves you dearly and is there to help.  Call out to Him! SATURDAY, AUGUST 29, 2015 Learning Humility S...