Sweet Sabbath Sunday: It Doesn't Resemble a Mouse.

About 3 years ago I gave this talk in Sacrament Meeting at church.  I loved studying the virtue of meekness (I honestly had never really understood it) and humility.  I feel like both tie in so closely with our journeys of emotional, spiritual and mental health.  Much of it has to do with expectations.  In this video I share a few experiences I had recently, one of which it came down to choosing Pride, Embarrassment and Humiliation or Peace, Edification and Humility.

Wherever you are in YOUR journey, I want to applaud you and cheer you on! Keep going, you're doing better than you know!   Hold on to the angels in your life and any spark of good that you can see around you.  Find the source of your true strength and strive to stay connected.  Things will get better, especially when God is a part of the equation.  He loves you dearly and is there to help.  Call out to Him!

SATURDAY, AUGUST 29, 2015

Learning Humility

Since last week when I got the call to speak on humility I’ve been thinking about what I could say today.  Every time I sat down to write my talk, nothing would come.  The few ideas that did come to mind were disjointed and awkward.  I started praying a little more fervently, asking to know what Heavenly Father would have me say.  As the words began to come, I was reminded of my great dependence on the Lord and I thought of the scripture in John 5:30 where Jesus said, “I can of mine own self do nothing…”  How grateful I am that the Lord takes our best yet feeble efforts and magnifies and prospers them! 

While preparing to speak today, I looked up the meaning of the words MEEKNESS and HUMILITY.  Although I’ve grown up hearing the word meek, I honestly couldn’t say that I knew what it meant.  As I’ve googled, and read a bit here and there, the best definition I could find is that meekness is strength that we have learned to control.  Meekness does not mean weakness.  True meekness does not resemble a mouse or a door mat, but rather a strong individual who wisely chooses to act calmly and with gentleness.

I will be the first to admit that meekness has not been strength of mine.  I grew up with a fiery spirit, often on a soap box, trying to aggressively assert my opinion.  About a decade ago I met a woman who seemed to have equally strong opinions but voiced them with a calm and caring demeanor.  It dawned on me that it isn’t always the loudest voice that is heard and that I may have missed opportunities to influence others for good because my strength was not tempered.  I can see why our Savior who described himself as meek and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:29) invites us to seek meekness.

While I read a quote by Neal A. Maxwell, where he eloquently expounds upon this idea, I want us to envision the often self-imposed and worldly expectations as heavy baggage that we sometimes carry.  Elder Maxwell states, “Happily, the commandment “Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart” (Matthew 11:29) carries an accompanying and compensating promise from Jesus—“and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” This is a very special form of rest. It surely includes the rest resulting from the shedding of certain needless burdens: fatiguing insincerity, exhausting hypocrisy, and the strength-sapping quest for recognition, praise, and power. Those of us who fall short, in one way or another, often do so because we carry such unnecessary and heavybaggage. Being thus overloaded, we sometimes stumble and then feel sorry for ourselves.  We need not carry such baggage. However, when we’re notmeek, we resist the informing voice of conscience and feedback from family, leaders, and friends. Whether from preoccupation or pride, the warning signals go unnoticed or unheeded. However, if sufficient meekness is in us, it will not only help us to jettison unneeded burdens, but will also keep us from becoming mired in the ooze of self-pity. Furthermore,true meekness has a metabolism that actually requires very little praise or recognition.”

How many of us flourish by the praise of the world, but are offended and defensive at any criticism or suggestions we’re given?  Are we perhaps relying on the wrong sources for input and approval?

Elder Soares in his conference address entitled “Be Meek and Lowly of Heart” said that, “The humble areteachable, recognizing how dependent they are on God and desiring to be subject to His will.”

When anticipating my first French teaching evaluation, the thought came to me that it would be important to be soft-heartened and teachable otherwise her critiques would come across as painful and breaking blows.  Her page and a half of comments was initially overwhelming, but as I took each one in stride, with the help of the spirit to temper me, I was able to become a better and more capable French teacher.  The correction I feared was what ultimately helped me to excel.

A similar progression is expected of us as disciples of Christ.  In  Elder Soares suggests that, “As we take Christ’s name upon us, it is expected that we strive to emulate His attributes and change our character to become more like Him each day. Meekness is vital for us to become more Christlike.”  For, in part, the way that we react to people directly affects our progress as disciples.  Elder Soares invites us to think for a few seconds about that correlation, “how [do] you react when someone does not comply with your desires the moment you want them to[?] What about when people disagree with your ideas, even though you are absolutely sure that they represent the proper solution to a problem? What is your response when someone offends you, critiques your efforts, or is simply unkind because he or she is in a bad mood? At these moments and in other difficult situations, we must learn to control our temper and convey our feelings with patience and gentle persuasion.”  I honestly felt a little defeated when I first heard that list of questions.  It was obvious that I had a long way to go in the meekness department.  But I love what the Apostle Paul taught that meekness is a fruit of the Spirit.4 Therefore, it can most easily be attained if we “live in the Spirit.”  The companionship of the spirit is key to any progress, change and growth! 

Yesterday we attended the baptism and confirmation for our friends’ son.  I couldn’t help but think what an absolute blessing it is to have the gift of the Holy Ghost.  I love that we can attain Christ-like virtues as “we live in the spirit.”  It almost makes me think of being immersed in a second language. It may feel unnatural and be challenging at first, but as we try our best to learn and push forward, eventually things will start clicking.  We may not feel that meekness is a current strength, but with time, especially as we are immersed in the spirit, we can be blessed with this gift.  We can learn to react calmly, respond gently, and have greater control of ourselves.  We will be more able to take the constructive correction and suggestions of others and be all the better for it.

This process involves being lowly of heart.  Jeffrey R. Holland’s wife, Patricia, gave a fabulous address at Brigham Young University on these two virtues (Becoming Meek and Lowly in Heart).  In it she mentions a conversation that she had had with her father several years previous.  Her father had said, “Confidence is a great blessing to anyone who has it. But Jeff [Elder Holland] is also smart enough to knowwhat to have confidence in. Both of you need to remember that your greatest strength and surest success will come through humility and dependence upon the Lord.”  Sister Holland continues her address to the body of college students, “I have thought a lot about my father’s wisdom, especially now when it seems our society appears to value success and thewhole self-image package at almost any price.Meekness and lowliness in heart are certainly not characteristics any contemporary young urban professional would want to claim. Instead, it seems that these young men and women want to be regarded as totally confident in manner, dependent upon no one, assertive, and excessively protective of their image of self…” 

Although she was speaking to young students here, do any of us fall in the same trap?  Where more than anything we want to come across as confident and independent?  I know I often do!  I want to share a personal experience from a few years ago when we were living in St. Louis.  Bryan was busy working on his PhD and I was keeping busy with Brie and Alex.  I thought things were fine.  I was trying so hard to juggle the various plates in my life and was keeping busy.  It wasn't until one day when I found myself in what felt like such a humiliating situation, that I fell to my knees and sobbed to my Heavenly Father...muttering that I couldn't do it anymore and that my best efforts had failed me.  I felt like my little world had come crashing down.  Although I tend to overreact and get emotional about things, in a way things had fallen apart, and that was OK because it brought me to my knees...and brought me finally to the Lord.  As I prayed my humiliation turned to humility.  I felt the Lord's love for me.  I felt that with His help, IF I continued to turn to Him, that He and I could pick up the pieces and make something better than was before.  For honestly the first time in my life I really felt a connection with the phrase "a broken heart and contrite spirit."  Although it’s never fun to reach rock bottom in any aspect of life, I was grateful that this last straw had brought me to my Heavenly Father.  It had helped to humble me enough to turn to Him for help, finally willing to hear Him out and do what He saw fit.  There is great strength that comes when we turn our will to the Lord.  After all, He is the master architect, carpenter, creator.  He knows when things need to be torn down or changed.  He sees what can be created with diligent effort and how to make it a reality. 

Sister Holland related a similar sentiment, saying “Indeed, I have come to realize that my own personal promptings from the Lord most often occur when I have been brought down into the depths of humility and suddenly feel a lot less confident in my own ability and much more dependent upon the Lord. He certainly uses my pain as his megaphone for an otherwise dull ear. I am beginning to see that the very experiences I would have chosen to run away from at the time have really been the major motivational turning points in my life.”

Just yesterday morning it felt like life was caving in on me.  I was filled with negative thoughts, I was feeling bad for the way I had been acting and wasn’t sure how to move forward.  I broke down in tears in the middle of my closet and prayed for my Father’s help.  As always, he came to my aid.  Oh how I need Him!

I love the definition of humility given in True to the Faith, (2004), 86–87 “To be humble is to recognize gratefully your dependence on the Lord—to understand that you haveconstant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that your talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that you know where your true strength lies. You can be both humble and fearless. You can be both humble and courageous.”

I am such a visual person and am forever thinking of analogies.  When I hear the word strength I think of power and electricity.  Bear with me for a second :0)  Imagine that being proud is like a light bulb claiming its brilliance in making its own light.  When in reality it must be plugged in to the source of electricity to shine at all.  When we are humble and recognize the source of our power we are much more likely to stay connected to the source and will then have the ability to brightly shine forth. (See Video on Being Connected to the Source.)

President Kimball had the key to (re)establishing this connection with God:

First, you evaluate yourself. What am I? I am the circle. I am the hole in the doughnut. I would be nothing without the Lord. My breath, my brains, my hearing, my sight, my locomotion, my everything depends upon the Lord. That is the first step and then we pray, and pray often, and we will not get up from our knees until we have communicated. The line may be down; we may have let it fall to pieces, but I will not get up from my knees until I have established communication—if it is twenty minutes, if it is all night like Enos. . . . If it takes all day long, you stay on your knees until your unhumbleness has dissipated, until you feel the humble spirit and realize, “I could die this minute if it were not for the Lord’s good grace. I am dependent upon him—totally dependent upon him.” [TSWK pp. 233–34]

I was recently reading a blog by Sarah Short of Short Stop Blog.  As mother of five she was responding to the frequent question that she gets, “How do you do it with 5 kids??”  Although she is referring to motherhood, I think her words can apply to each of us in our various situations.

 “I'm maxed totally maxed out…

But, mothering is easier for me now than it used to be. For one reason: I need God more.

I need him in the morning, at noon and at night. I need him to wipe my tears when my baby won't let me sleep at night. I need him to calm my heart when I'm changing bed sheets at 2 a.m. I need him to keep my children safe because I only have two hands and one set of eyes, and crossing a parking lot means holding on tight, but it also means letting go of "I can do this" and trading it for "God, you are with me, and you love them, too."

I need him to help me trade my doing for his doing.

I need his patience.

I need his joy.

I need his love.”

She goes on to say that she use to flail, “about amidst all of that and tried to raise my children in the Land of I Can Do This.

[God] He's taught me that he loves my children more than I do, and he loves to hear my voice calling out to himand letting him fill me with strength and wisdom and love and joy for my children.”

Whatever it is that we do each day, whether it’s going to school, putting in long hours at work, trying to stay on top of our households, making ends meet, serving others, taking care of our families, striving to make changes, trying to make a difference in the world…whatever it is, remember that we will always be better off when the Lord is in the equation.  Humbly turning to Him will ALWAYS be our best bet.  Isn’t it ironic that we’re better off when we realize that we can’t do it all?  That it’s NOT all up to us?  But it’s true.

In closing I want to share one of my favorite quotes, “Do the best you can until you know better then when you know better, do better.” (Maya Angelou)  As we each strive to be more like Jesus Christ through meekness and humility, I pray that we will choose to turn to the Lord and know that is through Him that we can do all things!  Let us remember that, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me (Phillipians 4:13).