Creating Calm---If the T-shirt Fits.

Per request of my Sister-in-law, a year ago March, I started a series about Creating Calm at home (read the first post here).  She and her cute family were visiting us this weekend and I suddenly remembered my promise of writing a second post.  Oops. 

Better late than never.

Let me start with a little walk down memory lane.

When I was a first time mom and my daughter was probably 8 or 9 months old, we went for a play date.  At one point during our visit, my baby girl was sitting on the carpet reaching for toys.  Whatever she reached for was quickly snatched away by the 2 year old play mate.  Every time she'd grab the toy, the little girl would yell, "it's mine!" and throw it in to her crib.

Naively I thought to myself, "what a rude little girl.  Can't she share?"

Fast forward a few years when we had a couple of little siblings over to play.  The littlest child picked up one of our toys and almost instinctively my daughter yanked it from his hands and threw it in her crib.

I was floored.

My sweet little girl was doing the same thing that I had once so quickly summed up as "rude behavior".

It was one the first of many times that I have had to swallow my pride.

Thankfully, this interchange taught me this:

some behavior is simply developmentally appropriate and can be expected.

It's uncanny how someone else's tantrum can sound so similar at the grocery store,

the most illogical events can set off such GIANT emotions in all preschoolers 

and the sweetest babies seem to turn sour when mobility milestones are reached and toddling the road to independence has begun.

I've decided that it's almost like a "2 year old t-shirt" that they don when they're navigating the novel world of autonomy.  

It's not who they are, but it's a rite of passage they must traverse.

The same can be said for each development stage and age--I know I'm not alone when my tween daughter rolls her eyes and with shrugged shoulders (AND a sigh the size of Texas) stomps off to her room.

The trick is to distinguish between the "t-shirt" and the inherent qualities that are at the core of each individual child.  

May we pray for discernment AND the skill of helping our children successfully meet each rite of passage without losing sight of who they REALLY truly are. 

SO, next time your toddler spills milk all over the floor, your preschooler is striking against morning jobs, your grade-schooler doesn't want to do their homework, or your tween is "wearing a pair of sassy pants", take a breath and know that these behaviors won't last forever.  

AND if we can TRY to lovingly journey with them with LOTS of grace, our relationships will be even stronger because of it.

*Our youngest has definitely been wearing his "2 year old t-shirt" for awhile now.  

And how fitting that he dumped out a bottle of glitter while I was typing this post😄.  Good thing they're cute 😜😉*